"Happiness is a choice, not a result. Nothing will make you happy until you choose to be happy. No person will make you happy unless you decide to be happy. Your happiness will not come to you; It can only come from you."
– Ralph Marston (National Football Player who played for the Boston Bulldogs in 1929)
According to the World Health Organization, to age well healthy is "the process of developing and maintaining the functional ability that enables wellbeing in older age." Functional ability is about having the capabilities that enable all people to be and do what they have reason to value. Having value in choosing happiness can go a long way in helping you age well.
As I have gotten older, I find myself in the pursuit of less. In my quest to simplify my life as much as possible, I feel a sense of peace and ease that naturally accompanies this effortless way of living. The more I scale down to the essentially important, the easier it becomes to remove the trivialities that seem to complicate and add unnecessary drama and stress to my life.
One of my essential life practices is choosing happiness. I made this choice a very long time ago and, for the most part, have been able to sustain it over the years. Do not get me wrong, I have my frustrating and challenging moments, but for the most part, they are few and far between. I cannot even remember an "all-day" lousy day I have had in years. What tells me I've been successful at choosing happiness is when my clients ask, "What's your secret to being so darn happy all the time?"
I typically answer their question with a silly joke and say, "low expectations," and, as funny as this sounds; there is a lot of truth in my answer. By keeping my expectations reasonable to low, especially when those expectations are of others that I have no control over, I can find joy in every small achievement at any given moment. On the occasion that I expect someone or something to happen a certain way, I make it a point to notify that person of my expectations, so they are also informed. People typically do not have the superpower of mind-reading, and it would be unfair to assume they should have such abilities.
Aside from keeping expectations reasonable and communicating them, I've learned to live my life by a few simple practices that help me reinforce my personal choice to be happy. These practices enable me to connect positively with others, contribute to my happiness, and may even brighten someone else's day.
What are my simple practices to being happy every day?
You may be surprised to learn it has nothing to do with me at all and everything to do with my willingness to do for others.
Scientific studies show that giving and helping others is hardwired into who we are as human beings and contributes to healthy aging. We have evolved as a species to help each other for basic survival and rely on these connections to maintain our physical and emotional health and wellbeing. Biology encourages us to help our fellow humans because, in doing so, we experience physiological changes. Our brain releases endorphins that make us feel good, and the reason why the positive act of doing good deeds is also known as "the helpers high." When we connect and assist others, we experience physical and emotional health benefits, such as a longer life span, lower stress levels, reduced risk of heart attacks & strokes, and a more robust immune system. These health-related benefits do not stop at our physical health but improve mental and emotional health and wellness.
I understand how busy everyone is managing their own lives, and the thought of adding "volunteering" to an overloaded task list is just far too much to ask. The good thing is, you do not need to volunteer your time to make a difference in someone else's life. Small and random acts of kindness matter the most and are achieved without much intrusion or added stress to your overbooked schedule. All it takes is a personal choice to do something followed up with a bit of intentional action.
Here are a handful of small and random acts of kindness that you can incorporate into your lifestyle that may not only change you but someone else's happiness as well:
CREATE A TRADITION OF GIVING IN YOUR FAMILY
From the time my son was three years old, we had a tradition of choosing an angel from the Salvation Army's holiday donation program every Christmas. In the truest sense of Christmas spirit, it felt good to give to those in need. This tradition of giving taught my son that Christmas is not just about getting gifts for himself but the importance of giving to others.
SMILE
A simple smile and acknowledgment of another human being speak volumes. Commit to smiling as you pass a stranger, making small talk with the grocery teller, or a simple nod of acknowledgment when you make eye contact. You will be amazed at how good you will feel through this easy daily habit that takes no time at all! Smiling also boosts our mood, lowers stress levels and blood pressure, and is contagious! Your one smile to a fellow human can lead to a long string of smiles for days!
HOLD THE DOOR
Be thoughtful and courteous of others around you through the simple act of holding the door open for them. You never know what people are dealing with, and this simple gesture can brighten and ease someone else's day.
PRACTICE KINDNESS
Like choosing happiness, kindness begins with a conscious choice to do so. I understand entirely that moments, experiences, and people can test our ability to be kind, but we can become better at it the more we practice. There have been many times where I have become aware of how my busy schedule and personal frustrations can lead to a less-kind version of myself. I have even made it my monthly goal to be kinder to my family, co-workers, clients, and strangers during my monthly accountability buddy meeting with Kodie.
SHOW GRATITUDE AND SAY "THANK YOU"
Through the convenience of texts and emails, we have lost the art of handwritten notes. Yet, we value the time and effort it took to write and send them on the rare occasion we receive one. Reintroduce the handwritten "thank you" note to your children and teaching them the beautiful life skill of being appreciative when someone does something nice for them. This simple act not only feels good for the receiver but instills a practice of gratitude and appreciation into our lives. When we are appreciative and grateful for what we have, we are less likely to experience envy, jealously, and greed. Science proves that practicing thankfulness will have tremendous physical and emotional benefits improving the quality of our lives.
These simple acts of kindness barely scrape the surface of the many things you can do to incorporate more happiness into your life. They can seamlessly be integrated into your lifestyle habit and take no additional time from your busy schedule yet reap tremendous health rewards, improve your overall quality of life, and allow you to age well. You will not only be providing good deeds for others but, in turn, contributing to your health and wellbeing in the process.
Do you have a simple act of kindness that you practice? If so, we'd love to hear about them! Reach out to us by sending us an email or comment on this post.
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