"I like to encourage people to realize that any action is a good action if it's proactive and there is positive intent behind it."
-Michael J Fox
Although the holiday season is generally associated with happiness, fun, and joy, it's not always an enjoyable time for everyone. Along with all the festivities, the holidays can stir feelings of sadness, longing, and disappointments, not to mention added anxiety and stress due to demands both to your schedule and wallet. Suppose, through personal experience, the holidays tend to make you blue or increase your stress level. In that case, there is a lot you can do to make them a tiny bit better by reducing these adverse outcomes and intentionally planning for a more enjoyable holiday.
I, for one, have experienced blue feelings during the holidays. Although intermittent when I was living at home in Hawai'i, it became increasingly regular through my time living in Seattle. Although I became weary of the constant cold driving me to stay indoors, being away from my family hurt the most. Knowing this, I began to preplan for a better holiday experience by developing strategies to stay ahead of the blues. I found that preparing early, staying in contact with family and friends, and incorporating specific seasonal practices helped lighten my heavy heart.
Here are a few of my holiday practices that may help you as well:
Take a broad view and plan for success.
During September, I would pull out a calendar, look at the upcoming three months, and determine a few target dates. What is coming up in October, and on what day does Halloween fall? What's going on in November, and what are the tentative plans for Thanksgiving? What day is Christmas, and what events may complicate my schedule between Thanksgiving and Christmas? I may jot down a few target dates, such as baking holiday treats, preparing a Christmas gift list, starting shopping early, and when to mail packages back home so they get to Hawai'i in time. My intention behind this full quarter review was to stay well ahead of deadlines to relieve overbooking my schedule, reduce stress, and boost joy.
Say No to things that don't serve you well.
Although this is an excellent ongoing life practice, becoming selective with holiday commitments is especially helpful with all the added demands accompanying the holidays. Although it may be challenging to say no to request, keeping your circle small and walls high during stressful times becomes necessary to preserve personal happiness. If you always say yes, and suddenly begin to say no, people may struggle with your new personal choice, but they will get used to it through your conviction to put yourself first. Taking that first step is always the most challenging, and the more you put your desires into practice, the easier it will be to design the holidays in a way that serves you and others much more positively. I love the way Dr. Darci says it, "learn to count your "No's" and protect your "Yes's." Well said!
Plan "ME' time to ensure a sense of peace
Along these same boundary-setting lines, taking time for yourself is crucial to preserving your mental and emotional health. If sitting in a warm bath, walking with friends, or reading bedtime stories to your kids, are things that add value to life and heal your soul, make sure to plan them regularly into your weekly schedule. By making time for yourself, you become a better version of yourself! It's essential and should not be put on the back burner when life gets hectic, but purposefully maintained for your overall wellness.
If the holidays typically set you back financially, prepare a holiday budget and get creative!
I, for one, have gone way overboard at Christmas, especially living away from home. It was as though I was making up for being away through more gifts and crap my family didn't need or want. A few years ago, I set a goal with Kodie, my accountability buddy, to make all my Christmas gifts. It was such an enjoyable experience, and I was excited for my friends and family to open their gifts on Christmas morning. The positive and uplifting effects of making gifts have since changed my gift-giving objectives during the holidays. Instead of going overboard, overbuying unnecessary and trivial gifts, I now put more thought into practical, needed, or handmade. This new practice is making the tradition of gift-giving more meaningful.
The key to preplanning is to decide what you want, determine what will help you handle the holidays in a manageable, and structure a plan to maintain your health and wellness objectives through it all.
A well-planned strategy supported with taking action will result in a more joyous holiday experience. With a bit of practice and repetition, these new proactive skills will become automatic and a usual way of life, helping you cope, manage and get through the holidays with a healthy outlook and happy mindset.
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